the office quotes

[Rafe Hollister]

I got a desk calendar with daily quotes from the office (NBC Thursday nights--Must See TV!). I'll post most of them on here. At least the ones that are worthy, or just whenever I feel like it.

It's my gift to all of you for 2008. Enjoy.

[Rafe Hollister]

I was crying because it was New Year's and it started snowing at exactly midnight.
--Dwight K. Schrute

[Rafe Hollister]

I've been at Dunder-Mifflin for twelve years, the last four as regional manager....See, we have the entire floor, so this is my kingdom, far as the eye can see.
--Michael Scott

[Rafe Hollister]

You know the saying, "A cluttered desk means a cluttered mind?"....I say an empty desk means...an empty mind.
--Michael

[Rafe Hollister]

My job is to speak to clients on the phone about, er...quantities and types of copier paper-you know, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can pay for it...and I'm boring myself just talking about this....
--Jim Halpert

[Rafe Hollister]

Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
--Dwight

[Rafe Hollister]

Ah, this is our receptionist, Pam....Pam has been with us for...forever....If you think she's cute now you should have seen her a couple years ago. Meow.
--Michael

[Rafe Hollister]

Did I wake up this morning thinking I'd be throwing a bird funeral? You never can tell what your day is going to turn into.
--Pam Beesly

[hunting170]

Uhhh Rafe, I don`t think this is working out like you were hoping.

[Rafe Hollister]

WTF does that mean?

[Warmouth]

Keep going, that's what it means.

[hunting170]

Rafe Hollister said:
WTF does that mean?

This is the JOKE forum, and these aren`t the least bit funny. (or entertaining, or interesting) Apparently Dave likes them so that should tell you something.

[Rafe Hollister]

Right now this is just a job. If I advance any higher...that would make this my career. And if this were my career, I would have to throw myself in front of a train. So, really, it's a matter of life and death.
--Jim

[Rafe Hollister]

If corporate wants to come in here and interfere, then they're gonna have to go through me....I'm the head of this family. And, um, you ain't gonna be messin' with my chillun.
--Michael

[Rafe Hollister]

A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher. Like Mr. Handel. Mr. Handel would hang out with us, and he would tell us awesome jokes...and he actually hooked up with one of the students. Um, and then like twelve other kids came forward. It was in the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us.
--Michael